ࡱ> WYV` e(bjbj 4BVVVV8<$X22LFFFzzz1111111$3h51zzzzz1FF41&zpFF1z1+%-F jVI,11nX2],~6~6(%-~6%-dzzzzzzz11rdzzzX2zzzzD d  The Coaching Mums Worry Workbook Mums are particularly vulnerable to worry; we have a sense of responsibility for the lives of our children, and yet we cannot control everything that happens to them. We know that worrying actually serves no purpose at all, yet it has an insidious habit of creeping into every aspect of our lives. If you give your worries an inch, they will take a mile! Chronic worrying is a form of anxiety and tends to become an automatic response. But there is good news. With practice you can retrain yourself out of this response. Coach Yourself First of all, lets try a little self-coaching. Even better, if you have a coach, or a good friend who can listen, ask you challenging questions and not interrupt, go through this workbook with them. Lets really examine your worry habits; pick them apart and question them. So often we take our behaviour for granted. When you start looking at your motivation for that behaviour, you become more aware of it, and you increase your power to do something about it. Who else do I affect when I worry? This may be directly, or indirectly. Think about your behaviour towards those you come in contact with when you are in worry mode. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Who am I being when I worry? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How does this image of myself as a worrier fit in with the image I would like of myself? Examine the gap between the two images -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What are the benefits of worrying? Think of a worry you have, or your worrying habit in general. Have some fun with this question think of a worry and write down at least three benefits, even if they are tongue in cheek. (To help you, here are my three potential benefits from me worrying about my husbands late arrival: I will get lots of sympathy poor little me I can be a drama queen I dont have to think about cooking dinner or tidying the kitchen Im far too worried to do that!) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What happens if I do nothing to check my worry habit? In 5 years time? In 10 years time? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How might my relationships, life and work change if I didnt see myself as a worrier? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some Worry-Busting Exercises and Tips Ration yourself. Have a Worry Time schedule it in your diary and stick to it. Allow yourself no more than ten minutes per day. Brainstorm all your worries big and little. Now against each worry write down an alternative, more realistic thought. Write your worries down and ask a friend to read each one out. As they do so, ask them to role play the worry. They act as if they are you and it is your job to play Devils Advocate and challenge each worry. The aim of the game is for you to have the final say as Devils advocate. The purpose of this is to retrain your mind into positive, solution-led thinking. Play with your worry voice exercise 1. Give the voice a character with a life. Lets call it Dobby (the little House Elf from Harry Potter) for the sake of illustration. Now try having a conversation with this little House Elf. Dobby might start off like this: But master, what if the Dark Lord comes tonight? Hear Dobbys high pitched, whining little voice, see his big ears and his wringing hands. Hes a bit ridiculous, isnt he?! How would Harry Potter respond to Dobby? How will you respond to your Dobby equivalent? Play with your worry voice exercise 2! Now try turning the volume on the voice up and down, change the pitch of the voice, get it to sing. How about getting the worry voice to sing its worry lyrics to the tune of Kylie Minogues I should be so lucky?.. Once youve had a good old play, go back to the volume and turn it right down until you cant hear that worry voice AT ALL! When your worries become almost mechanical, with a rhythm that goes on and one (when youre getting the same thoughts again and again), bring them to a halt by doing something physical, or doing something that requires your concentration. Here are some ideas: Run up and down the stairs Snap an elastic band on your wrist ow! Say the alphabet backwards Meditate on the wind blowing in the trees, on the washing in the washing machine, on the flame of a candle The possibilities are endless; the key is to get out of your own way! A step by step exercise for worry reprogramming: Write down what you are worried about in a notebook. What is the worst that could happen? Think about how you would handle the worst case Where do you have control over this worry? What can you do to reduce the chances of this worry becoming a reality? Where can you TAKE ACTION? Look at the worrisome thoughts that you feel you can't take any action on. Which of these have you inflated or distorted? Which have little basis in reality? Now write an opposite or an alternative to the worrisome thought. Learn the alternatives off by heart. Each time you catch yourself worrying, replace the original worry thought with the new positive thought. And finally, chant the serenity prayer, whenever you start to worry. You can ask whoever you want, be it God, the Universe or your higher self Grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can And wisdom to know the difference      INCLUDEPICTURE "cid:image002.jpg@01C4AADC.F3F91190" \* MERGEFORMATINET  Worry Workbook Amanda Alexander of Coaching Mums 2004 All Rights Reserved Page  PAGE 5 of  NUMPAGES 5  HYPERLINK "http://www.coachingmums.com" www.coachingmums.com "#$6 7 8 G H V ` x ϸϡϗ|o^P^B^hB*OJQJ^JphhlB*OJQJ^Jph!h0h B*OJQJ^Jphh h0OJQJ^Jh hdOJQJ^Jhdhd6OJQJ^Jh OJQJ^J,h0h95B*CJOJQJ^JaJph3f,h0h05B*CJOJQJ^JaJph3f,h0h 5B*CJOJQJ^JaJph3fh h OJQJ^Jh hj1OJQJ^J#$ 6 7 8 G H      gd  & Fgd  & Fgd)$a$gd0V'd(    & ' : QϾݾݭݾݾݾݎ{hU{$hlh 6B*OJQJ^Jph$hlh)6B*OJQJ^Jph$hlh796B*OJQJ^JphhlB*OJQJ^Jph!h0hn}B*OJQJ^Jph!h0h0B*OJQJ^Jph!h0h)B*OJQJ^JphhB*OJQJ^Jph!h0h B*OJQJ^Jph!h0h9B*OJQJ^Jph!f}DEG]! & Fgd @ & Fgd $a$gd0h^hgdn}^gd9gd @gdn}gd)^gdn} & Fgdn}gd 67ǴsbsQG=h OJQJ^Jh9OJQJ^J!h0h9B*OJQJ^Jph!h0hBbB*OJQJ^Jph!h0h @B*OJQJ^JphhB*OJQJ^Jph!h0hn}B*OJQJ^Jph!h0h)B*OJQJ^Jph$hlh 6B*OJQJ^Jph$hlh796B*OJQJ^Jph$hlhn}6B*OJQJ^Jph$hlh)6B*OJQJ^JphCDEW1BFG=am_ȺvvvhvhvhvhvhvhvhU$hlhl5B*OJQJ^JphhlB*OJQJ^Jph!h0hzj7B*OJQJ^Jph!h0hlB*OJQJ^Jph!h0hc4OB*OJQJ^Jph!h0h B*OJQJ^JphhB*OJQJ^Jphh OJQJ^J,h0h 5B*CJOJQJ^JaJph3f,h0hc4O5B*CJOJQJ^JaJph3f! 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